“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings…” – Lao Tzu.
By Aura Walker, MA, Cht.
I recently helped a couple with a 15-year history, as Gwenyth Paltrow puts it, “consciously uncouple.” They had tried for a number of years, to work things out with various counselors. It became clear to me in 20 minutes that these once childhood sweethearts had grown apart and had different life goals.
If you do not have the same goals for building a life with your current or potential mate kiss them and say goodbye, wish each other well, and move on as quickly as you can.
I wasted time in my 20’s and 30’s in prior relationships. I received poor counseling advice too. The counselors I sought should have told me to cut my losses quickly. Instead of encouraging me to try for too long in dead end relationships. The difference in my current relationship is that, besides great chemistry, we have the same goals when it comes to nurturing our children through high school and building for our retirement together.
It wasn’t always easy, but we got clear about our goals and got on the same page.
Save yourself pain and heartache. Get clear about your personal goals. Get on the same page with any partnership in your life. It is not enough to sustain a healthy partnership long-term if you do not have the same goals. The same also goes if you find yourself in constant conflict with your partner, if you feel unhappy with them 50% of the time or more, and if you have tried for more than a year to get on the same page and it has not worked.
Depending on the history of the relationship only implemented changes to achieve mutual goals will sustain a healthy relationship long term, unless you see your partner making evident and progressive moves to work towards mutual goals. Take it from an expert who has lived it, and done the research. Cut your losses, wish the other party well, and move on with your life to achieve your own goals faster.
Aura Walker is a seasoned mental health counselor and holistic health expert. She specializes in the use of hypnotherapy for rapid healing in short term care. Visit aurawalkerhypnotherapy.com.